I'm gonna tell your parents!

This is about me and my anger towards EPITECH.

EPITECH signed up a contract with DLILI, the university we are hosted by in Dalian, China. Proud of their job, EPITECH administration members had some reporters come and see what's going on in here and do some ad. The main argument of EPITECH's pride was:

This is the very first time French students are in a total immersion in China. Our students will share their room, have class and live with Chinese people during 10 months.

Let me tell you what is really going on here in Dalian. We share our room with Chinese people and have Chinese friends. That's about it. We take two main different classes: computer science and Chinese. The computer science class is the most boring thing ever. Imagine that you are in classroom, you have a computer connected to the Internet in front of you, and the teacher is Chinese and barely speaks English. We have been self-studying computer science for 3 years now, and these guys want us to focus during 3 hours on what the teacher is trying to explain. Do we have homework? Sure we do. Install Oracle on Windows 2003 Server, make screenshots and describe step by step the procedure. Uninstall Oracle and do that screenshot thing again. Now, install Linux and apply the same procedures. Oh and as so you know; now that you have uninstalled Oracle, install it back because you’ll need it for the next class. Sweet lord teacher, are you having fun wasting our time or something?
Reader, if you wonder what is the meaning of “install Oracle”, it consists on clicking buttons, as if you were installing MSN messenger.

Thus, I skip the useless computer science class.

We have Chinese classes, those are hen you yisi (very interesting). We talk a lot, we read a lot, and we learn 50 new words each week. We get to practice our Chinese as soon as we are out of the classroom. And I finally started studying seriously my Chinese writing, so everything is cool.

Last thing we have to do here is the monster called PFE. It is the end of studies project we must develop and promote during our last two years in EPITECH. Such an important thing requires a lot of time, especially the research and discovery part you have when you start a new project. The time we spare for the PFE is kinda doubled because of the low bandwidth-not working on Sundays-non existant on week days Internet connection we have.

I am done with our weekly schedule even though I did not say a word about the “get out of school and discover China” thing.

So what am I mad at? This week, my so loved school EPITECH sent a threatening letter to our parents explaining that they are not happy about us missing class. They can “cancel the exchange program and bring us back to France at anytime” if we don’t consider the program seriously.

For gods sake, are you guys dumb or what? How do you dare sending such a letter now? First, you cannot manage mixed classes with Chinese people, thus you completely fail your contract. Then, after three months that you’ve sent your students abroad, you notice they are not even registered to the French embassy of China. You have no idea of what is going on here, you cannot even come up with an adequate grade system. Do you even have a clue of how much time it takes to learn 50 Chinese words?
On top of it, to all these arguments you reply “EPITECH just settled this student exchange program, it cannot be perfect”. Hell with you.

Bir sabah

Bir sabah öldüğümü duyacaksın.
Sapsarı bir sonbahar sabahı.
Kapanacak gözlerim,
Ağlayacaksın...
Köşebaşından bir tabut çıkacak.
Ve arkamda sen,
Elinde bir demet çiçek,
Dudağında dualar,
Mahzun gözlerle bakacaksın...
Gözyaşların güneşte parlayacak.
Ağlamak gelmese de içinden,
Ağlayacaksın...
Hayalim belirecek karşında.
Belki de bana benzetemeyeceksin.
Koşup kapanmak isteyeceksin,
Taze toprağına mezarımın,
Bırakmayacaklar...
Yeniden beni hatırlayacaksın.
Sessiz gözyaşlarıyla,
Ağlayacaksın...
Keşke o iki kelimeyi söyleseydim diye.

Stories from Africa

Penis

In a very isolate village in Africa, little Isidor asks his father:
- Dad, can I play with your penis?
- Sure kid, but don't go too far!

Black sheep

In the same village lives one white guy, the only white around. He works for the Red Cross and heals sick people. However, a matter worries the whole town. A few days ago, a woman gave birth to a half caste girl. Thus, every body thinks the white doctor has something to do with this affair, but nobody dares talking. Embarrassed, the chief of village finds the doctor and says:
- Would you please explain me why this kid is not black?
- Well sir, the nature has made the choice. you know sometimes you have 100 white sheeps and only 1 black. You cannot control these things.
- Listen kid, I won't say anything about the kid, but don't you say a word about the sheep!

Torino 2006 Winter Olympics

Alright, Winter Olympics take place in Torino Italy this time. As we have fully integrated the Chinese country, culture and lifestyle, we copied the winter games as if they were a dvd..

We counter attacked the boring sundays and went skiing for the afternoon. There are 2 artificial ski slopes only 30 minutes away from our campus, so 6 friends and I decided to check it up.
Since we'll be there for the afternoon and there are not many slopes, I wanted to try snowboarding, 'cause i also wanna be a cool surfer. And now it hurts. I'm glad I finally figured out a way to know how many muscles human body has: snowboarding. I even located some bones.
Clearly, we were not expecting to ski when we signed up for the student exchange program, so I had no choice but to ski with my jeans. It is not comfortable, and, on top of all, once wet, you are cold.
No matter what, neat Sunday for only 20 Euros, isn't it?

    

TrackManiaNations - Blessed

I guess most readers have already heard about Nadeo's TrackMania series, the funniest car racing game ever. Fellows, a new one is available since a while. Nadeo has developed TrackManiaNations to take place in the Electronic Sports World Cup which has began January the 27th, and it is free to download! As previous releases of the game, TM Nations reveals your stunt race driver skills (maybe for some people, it does not), but this time Nadeo dropped Formula1 cars into the usual twistered, half-piped, ramped, chicaned and boostered tracks!
Acquire driver skills in the Solo mode, winning the Gold medals.. Become the solo guru by beating every Nadeo best times, would you dare?
Tune your car and challenge players all over the world in the Internet mode, the craziest mode of the game. You can race, chat, try to beat the best times. Trust me, TM gamers community gathers the most pleasant players in the world.
Once you think no one can beat you, open the track editor and assemble pieces as you wish, record your best time, create your server and wait to be taken down.
I hope you'll like this, but please don't be fired because you were open-space-playing, and there is no need to divorce just because you are spending more time playing TM than being with your wife. Enjoy!

By the way, if you have a crappy 56k modem, try Mini TrackMania while the download manager does its job.

Google owns it!

The Search Engine & co might have missed the target, as published reports of the fourth quarter witness. The censor agreement signed with the Chinese government might have disappointed many people. Anyway, Google still owns it all.
Checking my mails this morning on Gmail, I noticed the Gtalk integration to the pages. A few minutes ago, I checked it out with a friend. How sweet it is! you don't need to install any software on your machine (no Java, no applications at all), your contacts are loaded on the left side of your email listing and you can see whether they are on or offline. As you double click on a contact, a layer appears in the window, with a chat box in it.. You can now read your mails while chatting, using your web browser only.
Some other features such as "minimize the chat window" and "pop out the chat window" make it more enjoyable.
Gmail uses Ajax to implement the webmail, thus a perfect example of what is doable with this technique..
Some dinosaurs should better be afraid of Google..rising..rising..
Are you still not using Gmail??? Shame on you!

Jianzi (毽子)

If the temperature outside is -15 C°, if you are stuck with a friend in a 3 square meters room and if you want to lose some weight, Jianzi is what you need. Wikipedia gives a more detailed explanation of this sport. You can find the rules in English and in French on the websites of the Jianzi federations. I advise you to watch the videos on the French federation's website (bottom of the page).
Jianzi is a very popular activity in China, no matter how old you are, you can burn calories in parcs all over the country: there are always people practicing somewhere...

We have been playing this game for almost 3 months now; I discovered the federations a few days ago. What a shame! I thought we were the only players on earth! We had our own techniques and our own trick names:

• Black lotus
• Pigeon wing
• Out of control
  
• Kiss of death

I'll upload some videos of us kickin' the Jianzi as soon as we record them :)
You will see, even the Hungarians cannot challenge us. We break a Jianzi every two days, and believe me, it has nothing to do with the quality of Chinese Jianzis. Ours are made with feather of chickens killed by bird flu and balanced by peaces of soda cans.

Joke - Don't mess with the old chinese..

After being lost in chinese mountains for 3 weeks, a man finally sees a house, he knocks:
- YES? (thanks god, the chinese man speaks english)
- Good evening sir, i've been lost for 3 weeks. I am hungry, tired, i was wondering if you could host a poor man.
The old man accepts but warns:
- Nobody can do my daughter. If i catch you with her, you will go through 3 chinese tortures.
The man accepts the condition and sits with the family for supper. Since he has not seen a woman for a long time, the young man can't help staring at the gorgeous lady, as she does the same. During the night, the man cannot resist and joins the old chinese man's daughter. The sex lasts for hours, he gets the best sex ever. Back in his room, he thinks:
- Wow!! this sex was worth every torture! On top of it, the old man might have heard nothing!
The next morning, the man feels a pain on his stomach. He opens his eyes, and notices a huge stone on him, with this little note: "Torture number 1: 50 Kgs stone on your stomach".
- What a stupid torture! he says, and throws the stone out the window. Meanwhile, he barely has the time to read a second note on the wall next to him: "Torture number 2: stone tied to your right testicle". - HOLLY SHIT!!!
The young man jumps out the window since it is too late to catch the stone, death should be less painful, he thinks.
But, while falling down, he reads one more note on the rope: "Torture number 3: left testicle tied to the bed".